6/13/2024

hi lol. making this whole thing to just say things without people knowing i guess. I havent been feeling all that well lately.
Life has been hard recently! but i say that all the time i think im having some kind of majoru identity crisis? or maybe "i should hide my identity" crisis? I guess? long story short i think i just really really hate myself. i hate the way that i talk, how everything makes me feel like the world is ending, i hate my posture and the way i look and how i present myself! I have such a hard time finding things about myself that i actually like. I annoy my friends so much and there are so many things wrong with the way that i am. it would be better if i just distanced myself from my friends forever but im so selfish that if im alone for too long i feel bad and why would i want to make myself feel even more bad.

It turns into this weird cycle where if im alone for too long to i start to overthink every single thing i said and the way i said them until i feel terrible and if i stay with friends i forget that but im still so stupidly aware of the way that i am that its exhausting.

If i could change everything about myself i would. I really hate how im into all these weird things and dont know how to stop talking about them but i cant give up on them cuz i love them so much! They affect every aspect of my life i love them so much! anyway ive been thinking abt changing my entire wardrobe because maybe thatll fix whatever is wrong with me. if ur sum1 i know and u find this by some miracle halloooo!